in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize