in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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