i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
