guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize