i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I can't turn off my feet"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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