Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
