i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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