my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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