Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize