God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
