that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
