just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
