no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
