i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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