She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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