Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
handjob tips. give me some.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
