just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
