I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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