wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
