Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
