How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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