I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
