..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
