A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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