my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
