Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
