i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
