Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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