When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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