Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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