i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
