is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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