I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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