I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize