I must be too annoying 4 u.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
