Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you inspire me to be a worse person
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
