i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
