Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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