I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
