Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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