week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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