Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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