That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
