too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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