Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
did you just send me my own nude
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
