Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
