just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
