No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
fuck your aforementioned shoe
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize