i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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