Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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