At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize