How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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