forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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