I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
