my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
