dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize