How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
