we have officially mastered the walk of shame
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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