my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
